Four Tips to Improve Your Listening Skills


I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen. ~Ernest Hemingway

“Are you listening to me?”

Has anyone ever asked you that question? Or maybe that thought pierced your heart and mind, as you felt the sting of someone else ignoring or rejecting you?

How important is listening to you as a writer? How do you know what your audience wants or needs if you don’t listen carefully to them?

Consider these four ways to improve your listening skills.

  1. Resolve to be quick to listen. Many times, people who come to us for help, just need us to listen. James 1:19 offers this advice, “Understand this … You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry” (NLT).
  2. Decide to be available. Jesus gives us an example of a wise counselor who made Himself available to listen. “The apostles returned to Jesus from their ministry tour and told him all they had done and taught” (Mark 6:30).
  3. Desire a discerning heart. Not only does Jesus listen, He discerned the needs of others. When His disciples came to Him after their ministry tour, Jesus observes their need for solitude and rest: “Let’s go off by ourselves to a quiet place and rest awhile” (Mark 6:31).
  4. Choose to be quiet. Proverbs 17:28 reminds us, “Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold their tongues” (NIV).

At times our failure to listen before responding can provoke a negative, emotional response from our loved ones or friends, who may need our help. In fact, Proverbs 18:13 warns us, “Answering before listening is both stupid and rude” (MSG)

What can we offer others with our response, after we listen to their needs?

  • Grace, not criticism or judgment. Romans 2:4 reminds us, “Don’t you see how wonderfully kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you? Does this mean nothing to you? Can’t you see that his kindness is intended to turn you from your sin?” (NLT)
  • Companionship. We must encourage others to be dependent upon Jesus, not co-dependent on us. Jesus promised His followers, “I’ll be with you … day after day after day, right up to the end of this age” (Matt. 28:20 MSG).

So, the next time someone comes to you for help, I hope you ask yourself this question first: “Are you listening … Really listening?” (Matt. 11:15 MSG).

How have your listening skills helped you as a writer?

4 Replies to “Four Tips to Improve Your Listening Skills”

  1. Listening is so important … and so undervalued. I was shocked once when I read a blog discussing a book where a guy took pictures of people in New York City (and other cities) and asked people their stories. The blogger couldn’t believe so many people shared those kinds of details from their lives. Why was I shocked that the blogger felt this way? Because whenever I volunteer for Christian events, both speaking events and music events, I find that people are dying to share … it’s just that no one asks them to. And when you do you discover stories that would amaze and inspire. Just what a writer is looking for. I now specifically volunteer for such events not to sell T-shirts and books for the ministry, I purposely prepare myself for a day listening!

  2. I always wanted to have an answer for people who shared their problems with me. My pride was at stake. Then one day it hit me. I was not the problem-solver they needed. Jesus is. I pray to be a better listener now. Thanks for your simple message that’s not always easy to remember. 🙂

    1. I’m often hesitant to listen to the stories of others who I know need more than I have to offer. I pray I will always remember that the best thing I can do for others in need is to listen and point them to the Lord. Thanks for your reminder, Clarice.

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