No author in her right mind sets out to write a novel in the middle of the craziest year of her mid life. But every author knows that life happens regardless of deadlines, contracted or self-imposed. A year ago I hit the keyboard at the end of December with ACFW in September as my self-imposed deadline. Thankfully I didn’t know the hurdles I’d have to leap to arrive the the finish line, or I may not have tried. Thankfully, God knew better.
Little did I know my day job would test my new revelation that I am bi-vocational. Little did I know life would swirl around me like the outer bands of Hurricane Katrina, or I may not have tried. Thankfully, God knew better.
Every writer has a well-rehearsed list of real-life waves that sabotage word count, goals, edits, and plotting. I was well acquainted with the pitfalls of Twitter, Facebook, and my favorite procrastination tool, Pinterest. For others it’s childcare, homework, housework–the list is long. I’d hit mid point of 50K when the waves mounted and crashed. My day job work partner went on vacation in March, leaving the office in my care for two weeks. I was planning my youngest’s graduation. My husband was in the midst of a new job and we spent an April stay-cation wading through twenty years of classroom supplies stored in our garage between his classroom moves. In the midst of wading through college applications, taxes, FAFSA forms, college visits, and open house planning, my nurse and prayer warrior retired two weeks after receiving a bad diagnosis in May (she is currently well).
My critique partners knew I was floundering with my writing by July, when my work partner had major surgery and was out of the office for six weeks, turning my usual full-time weeks into forty-hour-plus work weeks. They prayed and kept to themselves their worry that I’d just quit writing and give up on ACFW. That’s when my mother became seriously ill. On the way from the office to the emergency room, I stopped at a long red light, and I felt the world swirling around me. But God’s whisper came as clear as it had for Elijah–“I’m not in the storm.” And I could breathe again. The light turned green.
My mother made a miraculous full recovery, and the weeks that followed brought four funerals of family members of my coworkers by August. ACFW was breathing down my neck and I questioned if I could do it. But as miraculous as my mother’s recovery, I put my heart on the keyboard and my measly 50K turned into 80K in six weeks.
I was pinching myself. I stood in the elevator shaking on the way to my room at ACFW with my dear friend and critique partner. I felt I’d finally been spit out of the swirling storm and come up for air. I didn’t even have a pitch, but I’d been given four pitch slots, the last with WordServe. I was sure I was an impostor. I wasn’t really a writer. It wasn’t really me who’d just poured those words on the page. Thankfully, God knew better.
Life happens. Life will happen again, with or without self-imposed or contracted deadlines. But what I’ll take with me this time is a toolkit to survive it. I will remember:
1. God knows better than me. He’s not in the storm. He is sovereign and so is His work.
2. Even though I’m a hybrid plotter-pantser, pre-planning saved me in the end.
3. Critique partners are a life-line for friendship, prayer, counsel, hand-holding, dope-slapping, and yes, last minute pitch preps!
4. Being bi-vocational means God will supply enough for each calling. I’m not betraying one calling to fulfill the other. Like a mother with multiple children, her lap is fuller, but she has enough love for all.
5. Knowing my story, believing in it, and loving it, kept me from giving up.
I offer my work back to my Maker. Thinking of the future publishing possibilities, I tremble with excitement and fear. But I know He’s not in the storm. I entrust He knows the future best.