Letter to the Spouse of a Writer

Dear Spouse of a Writer,

Please let this letter serve as a note of gratitude. Though you committed to support this journey, I realize your spouse’s growing career might not look like what you imagined. Within six months, any dreams of grandeur probably transformed into desires for normalcy.

At this point, you might feel frustrated.

Let’s face it, your writing spouse’s hours aren’t always that great. Early starts or late runs are often on the schedule. Deadlines might mean sacrificing a date night on occasion.

You probably question whether the lack of sleep is worth it, or if they’ll ever sit still and watch a movie with you again. And what’s up with the constant pecking on the keyboard?

Do they have anything to say that people want to hear? (Other than family?)

What is the goal?

Money? Can you actually make money at this writing thing?

Why would anyone pour their heart, their energy, their time, and their soul into something so hard? And why would any spouse in their right mind continue supporting it?

Let me give you three powerful reasons it benefits you to cheerlead your spouse’s crazy dream.

1. Not only did you and your spouse become one according to the biblical definition of marriage, but your role as cheerleader, coach, and sometimes counselor, means you play a direct role in the creative process. Your spouse cannot reach their full potential without you on board. A happy writer is a thankful writer, and a thankful writer wants to give back. In other words, there is definitely something in it for you.
2. A marriage is not whole if each partner is not given the ability to explore their healthy passions. How would you feel if your spouse tried to take away the things that made you want to get out of bed in the morning? Maybe you’re driven by golf, fishing, shopping, painting, running, or food. Whatever it is that spurs your energy — liken it to how your spouse feels about their writing. For me, reading is my obsession, while writing is my compulsion. Telling me not to write is like telling me not to breathe. By feeding our healthy passions, we are more fulfilled, energized, and interesting.
3. The payoff isn’t always calculated in dollars. If one reader is touched, their lives made better, or even saved, no amount of money compares. I’ve received emails from two readers of my latest book, Getting Through What You Can’t Get Over, who said they didn’t commit suicide because of what I wrote. Though I realize we have to put food on the table, and I work hard to do my part, I remind my husband often, “Writing is about souls more than sales.” By supporting your spouse’s desire to write, you could indirectly motivate another human being, brighten their day, inspire them, or even save their life. You and your spouse together can make a difference.

So to all the spouses of writers out there, thank you for what you do. You are the unsung heroes. Though you are often unacknowledged, you are not unnoticed. We couldn’t change the world one word at a time if you didn’t let us bounce them off of you first. We need your voice of wisdom discreetly influencing what we write.

Signed,

Another Grateful Writer