Letter to the Spouse of a Writer

Dear Spouse of a Writer,

Please let this letter serve as a note of gratitude. Though you committed to support this journey, I realize your spouse’s growing career might not look like what you imagined. Within six months, any dreams of grandeur probably transformed into desires for normalcy.

At this point, you might feel frustrated.

Let’s face it, your writing spouse’s hours aren’t always that great. Early starts or late runs are often on the schedule. Deadlines might mean sacrificing a date night on occasion.Old Typewriter

You probably question whether the lack of sleep is worth it, or if they’ll ever sit still and watch a movie with you again. And what’s up with the constant pecking on the keyboard?

Do they have anything to say that people want to hear? (Other than family?)

What is the goal?

Money? Can you actually make money at this writing thing?

Why would anyone pour their heart, their energy, their time, and their soul into something so hard? And why would any spouse in their right mind continue supporting it?

Let me give you three powerful reasons it benefits you to cheerlead your spouse’s crazy dream.

  1. Not only did you and your spouse become one according to the biblical definition of marriage, but your role as cheerleader, coach, and sometimes counselor, means you play a direct role in the creative process. Your spouse cannot reach their full potential without you on board. A happy writer is a thankful writer, and a thankful writer wants to give back. In other words, there is definitely something in it for you.
  2. A marriage is not whole if each partner is not given the ability to explore their healthy passions. How would you feel if your spouse tried to take away the things that made you want to get out of bed in the morning? Maybe you’re driven by golf, fishing, shopping, painting, running, or food. Whatever it is that spurs your energy — liken it to how your spouse feels about their writing. For me, reading is my obsession, while writing is my compulsion. Telling me not to write is like telling me not to breathe. By feeding our healthy passions, we are more fulfilled, energized, and interesting.Getting Through What You Can't Get Over Book Cover
  3. The payoff isn’t always calculated in dollars. If one reader is touched, their lives made better, or even saved, no amount of money compares. I’ve received emails from two readers of my latest book, Getting Through What You Can’t Get Over, who said they didn’t commit suicide because of what I wrote. Though I realize we have to put food on the table, and I work hard to do my part, I remind my husband often, “Writing is about souls more than sales.” By supporting your spouse’s desire to write, you could indirectly motivate another human being, brighten their day, inspire them, or even save their life. You and your spouse together can make a difference.

So to all the spouses of writers out there, thank you for what you do. You are the unsung heroes. Though you are often unacknowledged, you are not unnoticed. We couldn’t change the world one word at a time if you didn’t let us bounce them off of you first. We need your voice of wisdom discreetly influencing what we write.

Signed,

Another Grateful Writer

Bad Writer, Bad Writer

Working with Me, Myself, and I isn’t always what it’s cracked up to be. Now don’t get me wrong, they’re great people, (for the most part), but when they’re bad, they’re really bad.

Every one of them has a propensity to be a bad writer. But maybe not in the way you might think.

Stop When You Are DoneThey, (me), are bad in the realm of behavior. For instance — right now I should be writing the memoir I’ve been hired to pen. It’s a fascinating story of a true miracle man, and I am honored he asked me to help him tell his true story of supernatural experiences.

I should be chomping to listen to the audio recordings of interviews we’ve done. I should be rushing to relay my time with some of the top cardiologists in the world at Mayo Clinic. But am I doing either of those things?

No.

I’m fighting myself. The part that wants to do anything BUT make the most of this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity I’ve been given. Here’s what today consisted of:

  • Earlier, I caught myself popping onto Facebook without realizing I was doing it.
  • I keep checking the rankings of my latest release, Getting Through What You Can’t Get Over. (Granted, at this writing it’s in its twelfth consecutive week listing among Amazon’s best sellers, so it’s hard to ignore, especially when my author’s heart is thumping like a beaver tail on a warm spring day.)
  • I set up two promotional giveaways for Getting Through. One on Amazon, and one on Goodreads.
  • I accepted an invitation from a local TV station to record four, one minute devotionals. Of course, my brain started to buzz with possibility as soon as we confirmed the deal.
  • And all of this spurred a great idea for a WordServe blog post, so I had to jump over here before the inspiration leapt from my brain.

I hope you understand. I’m not saying any of the things I’m doing are wrong, in their appropriate time and setting, they are each very right. We need to stay relationally connected with our readers and our network of fellow writing professionals. It’s important to keep momentum going when a new project is launched into the world. And who doesn’t want to share great insights with our WordServe friends and family?

BreakdownBut how do I ensure I finish the project I was hired to write? First, I need to give myself a little grace. Enough to brush away unhealthy guilt, but not so much that I keep allowing poor behavior to make me a bad writer. When I give myself the level of patience I offer others, a breakthrough often follows.

I also take a few to celebrate the good things. Excellent reviews on Goodreads and Amazon. Strong sales rankings for Getting Through What You Can’t Get Over. New opportunities to spread a message of hope and healing for the hurting via television. All blessings, I couldn’t conjure or imagine — these are gifts from God. So allowing myself to express gratitude is in order. Knowing if I focus only on the gifts instead of the Gift-Giver, I’m out of line.

Finally, I set goals. A target keeps me accountable, even when Me, Myself, and I try to distract me from the work at hand. Word count — that’s the key for me. No matter how tired I am, I push toward the prize, reaching that daily word count before going to bed.

Goodreads Review Getting ThroughWith a shift in mindset, I’m now bathed in fresh discipline. A self-imposed word count waves in front of me, one I will meet before retiring. A grateful heart beats in my chest with new praise. And I’m almost done with this blog post.

As I process all of this, I realize — I’m not a bad writer, I’m a human one. At the end of the journey, it’s what connects a reader to my message. Real, authentic, raw. Word after word, step after step, Me, Myself, and I are helping change the world. All it takes is one positive review or reader response to remind me why I keep on keeping on. What I experience resonates with others — the writing comes from the living.

The Power of the Ask

I sometimes forget the strength of the simple. Social media is a brawny tool, but it’s sometimes vexing to figure out the best way to reach the masses using our profile platforms. That’s why a couple of informal posts I recently put up surprised me in their reach and response. I re-learned a lesson about the power of the ask.The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch

From infancy, we quickly figure out we must communicate our desires and needs in order to have them filled. A baby cries. A toddler whines. A little child begs. A teenager says, “Mommy or Daddy, please?”

If we make our requests without manipulation or ill motives, especially when we are inspired for a greater good, we generally receive what we ask for. I remember a few years ago, when I read Randy Pausch’s book, The Last Lecture: Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams, and feeling struck when he mentioned the power of simply asking as criteria for getting what we want. The world relinquished a wise and insightful man when he lost his battle with pancreatic cancer in 2008. Randy’s book was his final gift to the world.

Randy Pausch Questions More ImportantI was reminded of The Last Lecture when two different times I asked for help on my social media platforms. My intent was to help others, but as a by-product, the information I received also helped me. I believe because my questions were genuine and sincere, my friends, fans, and followers were eager to assist.

First, as a favor to a friend who is an editor for a women’s magazine, I asked seven questions in order to find out what the hottest topics were for women today. Not only did the volume of answers surprise me, but so did the patterns they revealed. It turns out many women are struggling with similar issues–raw, real, and relevant in our 21st century culture.

My friend got the information she needed, but as a bonus, I’ve been able to share what I learned with other women with hearts to share messages that matter. The benefit I received was my own fresh insight into what sisters of today are battling, allowing me to search for answers on their behalf. All because I dared to ask.

Getting Through Amazon Best SellerThe second thing I asked for came as a result of requesting detailed and specific aid from my social media peeps. When my latest book, Getting Through What You Can’t Get Over released in late March, it enjoyed a strong opening run. The first 90 days, readers reviewed and spread the word as the message resonated with many who were hurting, or knew someone else who was. But as authors, we know the challenge of keeping our messages out there, and figuring out how to reach appropriate audiences with our words of help, healing, and hope.

So when I asked on social media for ideas and/or connections to reach chaplains for the military, hospitals, or prisons, I was again shocked at how much my friends were willing to assist. The power of the ask extended my reach, and the longevity of my book’s impact.

In a world that often feels complicated and confusing, with voices shouting, “Try this. Do that,” it’s refreshing to remember the strength of the simple. Lately, I’ve seen many ask for help in a myriad of ways on social media.Social Media Platforms

“What pediatrician do you recommend in the Denver area? Go!”

“My son got blood on my favorite yellow shirt. Can it be saved? How do you remove blood stains? Go!”

“I need a quick dish for our family reunion this weekend. What’s your fave? Go!”

These days, folks are used to being asked to help with many things. So why can’t we ask for help in sharing our messages, or to find out what messages we should share? Instead of overcomplicating it, why not enact the power of the ask?

What are your current hot topics? Do you have any insights on how/who I can spread my message of real healing and hope for the hurting? How can I help you?

How to Create an Enticing Book Trailer — Secrets from a Professional

Getting ThroughBecause of my passion for the message, and the drama of the subject, I really wanted a book trailer for my latest release, Getting Through What You Can’t Get OverSo I went on a quest, hunting for the most enticing book trailers, hoping to glean insights and ideas.

When I searched on YouTube, high-profile author websites, and via Google searches, I was surprised. There wasn’t much out there, and what was, frankly,  with few exceptions, didn’t entice me to read the books they represented. Especially those filmed for my genre of creative non-fiction.

For transparency sake, I’ll confess. I turned most off before I finished watching.

But quality wasn’t the only issue I had while doing my homework. When I looked at pricing models by those who offered the service, I was appalled at what some of them wanted to charge. (No wonder there are so many self-made book trailers.)

But I knew I wasn’t gifted in the creative realm of film-making. I needed the help of a professional. So what to do???

It was around this time my niece got married. A couple of weeks after the ceremony, she invited an intimate group of close family and friends for a wedding video party. The videographer was there, and he unveiled his masterpiece. I was VERY impressed. His creativity in weaving the footage into a story, really captured my attention, and held it.

When the party was over, I waited until everyone else had left, and asked my niece how much he charged. The price was right. This young creative was building his portfolio, and although he was smart enough not to give his services away, he didn’t price himself out either.

Daniel Thompson Videographer
Daniel Thompson Film & Photography

I asked the videographer, Daniel Thompson Film and Photography, if I could speak with him.

“Have you ever filmed a book trailer?”

“I’m not sure what that is.”

I explained. Then asked if he would consider working with me to create a trailer for Getting Through What You Can’t Get Over. I outlined what I wanted.

“I’ll provide you with plenty of information, much more than you’ll ever use, and I’d love for you to take it from there, use what you need and discard the rest. Don’t be afraid to get creative. You’re the expert, the professional in this field, not me. I don’t want to tell you how to do your job.”

So I emailed him a document, full of information. (If you want a copy as a sample, just email a request to anita@anitabrooks.com).

We did a couple of filming sessions, one at a book signing I had at Barnes & Noble, per his suggestion. And though I don’t like to see or hear myself, I think he did a great job of making the trailer feel warm, inviting, and allowing the flaws of imperfect hair, makeup, etc., add to the real-ness of the message.

Getting Through What You Can't Get Over Book TrailerHe also included things I wouldn’t have thought of. A few touches of dramatic flair. Flipping through the pages of my book. Looking up toward Heaven. A closeup of me autographing. Little things people respond to. You can watch it here and tell me what you think.

Getting Through What You Can’t Get Over book trailer

If you’d like to create a great book trailer, and this area of creativity is not your forte, plus like me, you need to squeeze dollars, I have some suggestions:

  • Hire Daniel, he’s amazing!
  • If you live too far from Daniel, (I’m sorry!), find your own local creative, who’s building a photo/video portfolio, and willing to experiment.
  • Check with local colleges, or even high schools, asking the administration for referrals to a young, talented person who might do a great job.

Through the process, I learned secrets from a professional about how to create an enticing book trailer.  Slapping something together isn’t enough. Make sure it draws people in, and makes them want to read your book, not turn you off. I can’t take credit for mine, but I am happy with the outcome. It isn’t perfect, but in my opinion, it is enticing.

Have you used a book trailer? If so, what was your experience?