Posted on by Megan DiMaria

Rejection!

Rejection is an ugly word, especially to a writer. But we need to keep it in perspective.

To help you put rejection into perspective, I’d like to discuss my shoes.

I have a pair of lovely leather shoes. I really like my shoes. They are stylish, look good with many types of clothing, and are comfortable to wear for many hours. I love, love, love my shoes.

A few months ago, I noticed my shoes were beginning to look worn out and were no longer attractive to wear with dress pants. I thought about purchasing another pair of shoes, and then I had the bright idea to bring them to a shoe repairman. The repairman put new heels on my shoes, polished the leather, and blackened the soles. After some effort and work, my leather shoes are spiffed up and look as good as new.

Now, if I offered my shoes to someone and they don’t love them like I do, should I be heartbroken? Does their rejection of my shoes make me less of a person? Does it make my shoes less attractive? Does it make me less worthy?

Think about it, I bet my shoes wouldn’t fit just anyone. They wouldn’t be right for a number of people with different tastes and different needs. But that doesn’t make my shoes less valuable or less worthy.

That’s the way I look at rejection. My manuscript (shoes) is polished and ready to go out into the world. But perhaps the agent/editor (consumer) needs a different size or is looking for a different style. It’s easy to look at the situation from this perspective and see that it’s not always personal when your manuscript (shoes) is rejected! Sometimes the rejection is not about the story or craft but for other reasons, some of them simply being reasons of timing.

Rejection is an ugly word, especially to a writer. But we need to keep it in perspective. If we’ve been gifted/called to write, then we should keep writing and polishing our manuscripts. After all, many successful writers have suffered rejection.

Now that you’ve gotten the fear of rejection out of your mind, put your new confidence to the test by planning to attend a writer’s conference this year. Many writers will testify that their career got on the fast track after they attended their first conference. You meet other writers, editors, agents, and learn about the craft and the industry at conferences. Your competence and enthusiasm for your writing gets a great boost by attending conferences.

Don’t stress about rejection, keep moving forward in your career.

How do you shrug off rejection? How do you keep it in perspective?

15 Replies to “Rejection!”

  2. Where is everyone today? I enjoyed your post, and the analogy. I am new enough that I haven’t experienced a lot of rejection yet. Thankfully, I have friends who have gone before me who will help me keep a good perspective. I’m going to have to remember the shoe analogy when my turn to walk through rejection comes. 🙂

    1. Everybody is thinking, “Oh my gosh! Christmas is six days a way!” And they are bolting out of there chairs, running away from their computers and addressing Christmas cards or going shopping.
      🙂

  3. Depending on the day, I can easily shrug off rejection or I can be buried under it.
    Sigh.
    Just being real.
    I know the right perspective is the one you write about in your blog post: Rejection happens. Don’t take it personally.
    It’s just that some days it feels personal.
    Some days, everything feels personal.
    🙂
    So … I acknowledge that rejection stings. And then I change the “R” word to another “R” word: Regroup. A rejection means I need to regroup. I give myself time to process, to figure out if anything (including my perspective) needs to be changed. And then I deal with it.

  4. Well done! Great analogy, with lots of implications. I am about to shut my computer down for a few days of travel, it’s going to be a slow blog-world week. Wanted to say thanks, though, and let you know I really appreciate your post and your encouragement. I’ll think of this when I slip on my favorite shoes.

  5. Like Beth, sometimes it depends on the day. I’ve found the days that I steep myself in the Word I deal with the R word better. Not saying it doesn’t still hurt, but being grounded in Who I write for helps my perspective.
    So you know with the hectic days of Christmas, there’s not always the time to get grounded…I’m really thanking Him that agents and editors take off these two weeks!

    1. There are so many factors that affect our response to rejection. It’s always more difficult if I’m tired. If I’m well rested, I can handle disappointment much better.

  6. So, if my shoes (writing) look their best, then I have nothing to be dismayed or embarrassed if someone doesn’t like them.

    I like that — and will try to remember it the next time someone dismisses my shoes.

    Thanks for the sage insight.

  7. Great post, great analogy! Writing is SO personal, it is easy for it to feel like YOU are being rejected.
    I was walking down the hall at a book fair and overheard the conversation of two people behind me. One man was telling another of VeggieTales multiple rejections before someone caught the vision. He remarked that all of the naysayers were probably kicking themselves now! That’s really stuck with me – the concept that not everyone is going to appreciate my writing and that is okay. It has helped me to persevere when I receive “No, thank you”s!
    I’ve heard so many writers talk about connections they have made from conferences. I have been blessed to have God open doors of publication and payment through various venues without having attended a conference. But I feel like this is the time. So, I’m off to my first conference in February! Excited to see what God has next!

  8. I still have the first rejection letter I ever received. It helps to remind me that I only fail if I quit. It actually provides the motivation to improve my writing skills and keep trying. It’s a sweet day, indeed, when the acceptance letter arrives!

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