Tag: rejection

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The Best Advice I Could Have Given Myself

SignatureCountry artist Brad Paisley released a song in 2007 titled “Letter to Me,” in which he gives his teenaged self advice for the future. It makes me think about what I would have advised myself thirty years ago when I began my freelance writing career. So, with a tip of my own cowboy hat to Brad, here’s my letter to my younger self!

Dear Jan,

I am you thirty years from now, and I want to give you some advice about writing.

  1. Get a day job. You are never going to be on Oprah talking about your bestseller. (Oprah is a person with a very influential talk show in the future. She has a book club, and Tom Cruise jumps on her sofa. Enough said.) Accept the fact that your writing habit will never financially support you. Fortunately, your husband will, so be sure to say “Yes” when a guy named Tom proposes to you. You’re going to think he’s just trying to cheer you up because your car’s water pump broke down, but he’s serious. DO NOT LAUGH IN HIS FACE, because he will never let you forget it. (Although it will make a great blog post. A blog is …never mind. You’ll find out later.)
  2. No matter what you think, your first and second book manuscripts are trash. Really, they are. It would be nice to just skip writing them altogether to save time and effort, but if you don’t write them, you won’t write your third book, which will find a publisher. Just thought I’d let you know.
  3. You’re going to meet a woman named Belinda. Don’t ever tell her you’ve written a book, because even though she’s going to be one of your best friends, she’s going to drive you crazy with her constant stream of ideas for books SHE wants to write. If she ever brings up that she’s thinking about writing a book, immediately change the subject. (You can thank me later.)
  4. Write a YA romance series about a vampire and a high school girl. Believe it or not, it will sell and launch a publishing trend. I’m serious.
  5. Speaking of serious – stop taking yourself so seriously. There are many, many writers out there. The bad news is that you have to compete with them for contracts. The good news is that the writers you meet will absolutely enrich your life, if not your pocketbook. (Reread #1 above.)
  6. Don’t give up writing. You will get published. You will also get rejections, but that’s part of the package, so get over it and get it out of the way. It will give you more time to write and more confidence in your writing. Writing is your gift, so enjoy it, develop it, invest time and effort in it, and it will reward you in ways you can’t even begin to imagine.
  7. Finally, if you ever have a chance to buy stock in a company named Apple, you might want to do that.

Love you!

Jan

What advice would you give your younger self?

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Unpacking a Rebuke

????????????????????????????????????????We’ve all met at least one—the writer who simply cannot take any criticism of his work. Such folk gleefully hand you their writing for review. But when you offer a tiny suggestion about a passage they’ve written, small funnel clouds begin to form over their heads. They’ll have none of it. Their eyes pinch. They are certain you are thick, even dim-witted, and probably don’t floss or exercise. Such writers typically don’t last long in the world of words, because as Justice Brandeis once said,

“There is no great writing, only great rewriting.”

Then however, there are those of us at the other end of the spectrum. We are so certain that the opinions of others must be more credible than our own, that we buy into anything anyone says about our work. This can have us constantly scurrying off in the direction of the most recent advice.

So when evaluating a rebuke or criticism, where is the balance? What questions should we be asking?

Was the rebuke from the wrong person? In my critique group we have a few poets. But I don’t get poetry. There. I said it. Thus, any constructive comments from me must be taken with a grain of salt. In fact, I typically find myself saying the same thing over and over again:  I don’t get poetry, but I love your imagery. Not very helpful. Our poets would be perfectly sane to pause before taking my poetry advice.

But what if the rebuke came from someone a bit higher up? What if a book proposal to an agent was rejected?

Was it a good idea with a bad pitch? I had a great talk in my roster of workshops but no one ever selected it. Finally someone said, “Yes, we want this talk! But you’ve GOT to change the name.” When they explained why, a light bulb went on. My title had completely misled would-be attendees as to what would be presented. Most hadn’t even read the description because the title sent them packing. The same thing can happen in a query or cover letter. You may well have a great idea, and your writing might actually be ready. But if the agent or editor didn’t catch the fever in your pitch, or if it left them confused, they most likely never went on to your writing.

Agents and acquisition editors aren’t magical. They don’t have a clairvoyant wisdom that lets them know exactly what’s going to take off and what’s going to fizzle.  Even with decades of experience and loads of algorithmic analysis, it’s still a highly unpredictable business. Which means they sometimes get it right and they sometimes don’t. (Well, all except for Word Serve Agents. They really do always get it right. Whew. Dodged a bullet there.)

Say what you want about the Harry Potter series; I still cannot imagine anyone reading through some of J.K. Rowlings writing and saying, “Ehhhh. I just don’t see it. This won’t interest a soul.” And yet. . . twelve publishing houses said just that.

Learn to Unpack a Rebuke

Most of the time, we really could improve what we’ve written. Most of the time, our writing needs some work. But don’t chase after every single comment as though it is Gospel. Measure it. Weigh it. Give it reasonable consideration. Develop a mature view of your own work. Most of the time, there is value in the criticism. But in the end, if you think your reviewer got it wrong, stick with the plan a bit longer. Look for the gatekeeper who gets you.

The obvious conclusion of this line of reasoning is that even advice from this writer must be evaluated carefully and perhaps dismissed. I’ll admit, sometimes I get it right. And sometimes I get it wrong. For example, if I had been on the committee to evaluate and select new TV programming, we’d never have heard of World Wide Wrestling or Honey Boo Boo.

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When Your Book Doesn’t Sell: Separating the Writer From the Wannabe

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“I’m so glad it is our first year here so that the pressure’s off to win an award. I heard you have to be returning to be in the running,” my friend Kim leaned over and whispered as we sat in the back of Mount Hermon Christian Writers Conference’s auditorium last April.

“Seriously, right?” I said, slouching down in the pew and sighing. We were settled in for the final night of programming; awards, music, and a message from the great Liz Curtis Higgs, who, if I am being honest, seemed so inviting and encouraging that it took all I could muster not to walk over and crawl up in her lap.

The week in California had been a dream for this mother of four, prone to piles of laundry, homework with kids, housework, and therapy and doctor appointments for my two daughters with Down syndrome. One week by myself, ensconced with like-minded people, authors, agents, publishers, and writers with dreams of their own, in one of the prettiest parts of God’s creation.

So you can imagine my surprise when my bio was read and my name was called. I won the Ethel Herr 2012 Most Promising New Writer Award for submitting 25 pages of my memoir about giving birth to my daughter Polly, and her diagnosis of Down syndrome, while serving as a missionary in Ukraine. My friend and I jumped up and down, and I ambled to the stage. The bright lights made me dizzy. Liz Curtis Higgs gave me a huge smile. “Wonderful!” Ethel Herr (Ethel Herr!) gave me a hug. The award thrilled me, and embarrassed me. After all, I was just a mom, trying my hand at this writing thing.

I naively left the conference sure that I would secure an agent and a publisher for my book within minutes of walking in the door back home.

Yeah. That didn’t happen. I secured an agent, but months later, through a different writing venue. The manuscript garnered interest from publishing houses that even resulted in two frightening, sweat-producing face to face meetings.

But so far, my book hasn’t sold.

Here are three things I’ve learned from this experience so far:

1. Keep writing

Someone offered me sage advice once I completed my manuscript. “Start another one.” Diving right back into another book length project has been one of the best things I’ve done as a writer. I’m a writer, not a wannabe, because I want, no, I need to write, not just to be published. I am growing in my craft, and I am still having fun doing it.

2. Grow your platform

I’ll admit it, there have been days that I’ve wanted to curl up in a ball over my memoir not finding a publishing home. OK, there have been days I have curled up in a ball because my memoir has not found a publishing home. But I’m a writer, not a wannabe, because I get back up and keep trying. I am building my platform and brand through articles, speaking, social media, and blogging.

3. Trust God’s timing

As a person of faith, although my carnality wants what I want in my timing, this experience has been a great exercise in trusting God and his timing. I am called to write. And by God’s grace, he uses my words in other people’s lives, and in my personal pursuit to become more like Jesus. So I practice trusting him. If it is God’s will for my memoir to be in print, it will happen. In the meantime, I’ll keep writing.

I may not be a published author, but I am a writer, not a wannabe.

And today, that’s enough to get back to this crazy, exciting, challenging work of putting pen to paper.

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Facing a Fickle Crowd?

When Jesus finished telling these stories, he left there, returned to his hometown, and gave a lecture in the meetinghouse. He made a real hit, impressing everyone. “We had no idea he was this good!” they said. “How did he get so wise, get such ability?” But in the next breath they were cutting him down: “We’ve known him since he was a kid; he’s the carpenter’s son. We know his mother, Mary. We know his brothers James and Joseph, Simon and Judas. All his sisters live here. Who does he think he is?” They got their noses all out of joint.

But Jesus said, “A prophet is taken for granted in his hometown and his family.” He didn’t do many miracles there because of their hostile indifference. (Matt. 13:53-58 MSG)

Do you ever want to run and hide from criticism or rejection? If you’ve ever spoken to a crowd, taught a small group, written for publication, or communicated your faith in any way, you may have faced a fickle crowd. And you might identify with this story from Matthew 13.

I noticed a few helpful truths in this passage.

  • Jesus used stories to communicate.
  • People praised Him at times.
  • People also criticized Him.
  • Jesus stayed in tune with His audience.
  • Jesus moved on, when criticized.

Facing criticism and rejection. Reading the account of how Jesus handled this crowd reminds me of an event from my past.  

When my close friend, Sara, invited me to her Sunday School class, I hesitated, uncertain if I would fit in. But since her friend, Glenda, taught the class, I agreed to visit.

Hoping I found the right place, I slipped in the door and scanned the room for a familiar face. No one seemed to notice that I had entered. I found a seat close to the door, in case I needed to make a quick exit. I fiddled with my purse, hoping my insecurity would not be obvious.

I got up the nerve to survey the room again, and my eyes met Glenda’s cold stare. I looked back down at my purse, pretending to search for something, as I questioned myself. Am I in the right place? Is this a closed group? Have I done something to offend her? Maybe I’m reading her wrong.

As I fought the urge to escape, I gripped the edge of the cold, metal seat and leaned forward just as Sara walked in the door. Her warm smile calmed my nerves. And as she sat down in the empty chair next to me, I found the courage to stay.

Pleasing people? After several painful interactions with Glenda over the next few months, I listened to some sound advice from my husband Dan: “Some people just aren’t going to like you.”

What seemed to be common sense to Dan, took me by surprise. Up to that time, I believed that I could always find some way to make people like me. I had been successful at pleasing people most of my life—until I met Glenda. She decided that she wasn’t going to like me. Why? Who knows? I could do nothing, but forgive her and move on.

Facing a new year. I realize that I will always face fickle crowds. And I am still tempted to try to make them like me. But the Bible assures me of God’s unconditional love.

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Rom. 8:38-39)

I also hope to remember the example that Jesus gives us in Matthew 13 the next time I face a fickle crowd. So, as I prepare to meet the challenges of a new year, I plan to …

  • Continue to tell the stories that matter most.
  • Offer thanks for the praise I receive.
  • Ask for God’s help to deal with criticism.
  • Stay in tune with my audiences.
  • Move on, when criticized.

 What helps you, when you face a fickle audience? 

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She Never Had a Rejection?

hI once met a woman at a writers conference and, as writers often do, we began sharing what we’d written, what we hoped to improve on, perhaps publications we’d like to write for some day, editors we wanted to meet. The usual stuff. But when I talked about the last rejection note I’d received, this woman got a curious little smile on her face and sweetly said, “You know, I don’t typically say this out loud, but I’ve never ever gotten a rejection. . .not even once.”

That conference was a while ago, so I no longer remember where I hid the body.

But at the time, my snark-o-meter went on full alert, and I found myself thinking dozens of less-than-charitable thoughts.

Maybe she’s never submitted anything. That would sure hold down the rejection letters.

Maybe she’s writing for a very tight niche–like Amish women scuba divers–and she just happens to be one of three writers on the planet with the right contacts.

Maybe (and here’s where I sank to my lowest level of cynicism), maybe she’s sleeping with the editor. That’s because she’s married to him, and together they started a third-rate magazine and she provides 90% of the content with snappy pieces like “You, Ginseng Tea, and a Happier Colon.”

See, I told you I’d reached a new low.

Big sigh. God probably just sent her my way to improve my humility and compassion skills. Apparently I have a ways to go.

Here’s the thing—I think she was being sincere, and was possibly even surprised at her own good fortune. And she may well have written lovely and informative pieces for top-notch magazines. But the problem with her comment is that it’s the writer’s equivalent of winning the lottery. The real truth is, in the world of writing, if you’re not getting rejections, you’re just not in the game.

The publishing industry has a very steep learning curve. For much of it you’ve just got to get in there and start. I’m not saying you should skip the process of researching the publication ahead of time, spelling the editor’s name correctly, and fashioning your piece with their readers in mind. In other words, don’t ignore the process of learning craft and industry. But much of that learning will come from doing, failing, rethinking, and doing again. Almost every published author I know has at least one massive fail to their credit.

A rejection letter can mean many things, but the only sure thing it means is that you sent something in. So instead of seeing it as proof positive that you can’t write, consider other very likely scenarios such as:

  • The magazine had something like it recently.
  • The magazine has something like it already in the hopper and it’s working its way up.
  • The magazine has worked with a particular writer who’s been talking about doing something like this, and they’d rather take a chance on someone who has some history with the magazine.
  • Or maybe the piece was just too ______ [insert word of choice—edgy, tame, academic, casual, ecumenical, evangelical, rural, urban, prissy, intense] for their magazine’s style or their audience.

Learn to embrace rejections. Unless you plan to win the writers’ lottery, there’s simply no way to avoid them. In fact, they’re like a merit badge, proving you’re in the game. I’m not saying you’ll ever come to love them. But you can see them as useful. I, for one, open them, learn from them, and then use them to wallpaper my bathroom.

What about you? Do rejections bring you down, sometimes to the point that they impact your next submission?

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The Blessing in a NO

Ever feel like you just can’t catch a break? Nothing seems to be going your way? Have you ever heard no so many times it starts to lose its meaning? Welcome to the world of writing.

In the last three years, I have heard no so many times that I have learned to laugh and look for the next open door. When I first started hearing no it was a foreign concept to me. All my life I worked hard for what I had – job, grades, academic standing – and then I put one foot into the real world, and for some reason none of my achievements carried much weight. Crazy how that works, isn’t it? But it took a series of closed doors to teach me the blessing in no.

  • Applied to grad school at Texas Tech – No
  • Applied to 11 other grad schools (About the eighth letter, I started laughing instead of crying.) – 11 No’s
  • Moved back home and applied for A LOT of jobs – A LOT of No’s
  • Wanted to move out of state – No
  • Applied for more jobs and internships – More No’s
  • Submitted my book for publication – A lot of silence (which equals a “no” in the publishing world)

Starting to get the picture? No started to lose its meaning. But the more I heard that dreaded word, the more I began to find my way. Know what happened when I stopped trying to make things happen and allowed the Lord to direct my steps? A lot of those no’s became yesses in directions I never would have explored.

  • Got an acceptance letter to Focus on the Family Institute in the same month I was rejected from Tech. The Lord changed my life. – Yes
  • Found a freelance writing position two days after my most recent job rejection. – Yes
  • Attended a writers conference and was accepted into a writing course with a mentor doing the exact same thing a graduate degree in writing would have given me for an eighth of the cost. Found Christian authors to encourage me. – Yes
  • Attended another conference and found agents and editors who are interested in my book. At least I’m on the right track. – Yes

The Lord began to open doors to all the things I had been pursuing, except He determined the direction and the timing! It turns out that I’m in pretty good company. In the Bible:

The Lord told Abraham to leave everything He knew and travel to a land He would show him.

Abraham prayed for a child, and the Lord said no until Abraham was so old it seemed impossible, and then the Lord blessed Abraham with Isaac, the promised child.

Jonah didn’t want to go to Nineveh to preach. He ran away but the Lord said no to Jonah’s direction. He sent a whale to swallow him and then spit him up on the beach near Nineveh. It changed that city.

Mary probably expected to go into her marriage a pristine virgin. The Lord said no to that plan. She was still a virgin, but she was shamed by her people with a child, who turned out to be the Christ child – the One who changed the world.

My no’s seem pretty insignificant in the grand scheme of things. The Lord used redirection in the Bible for His glory and the good of His people. There is blessing in this dreaded word.

In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps. (Proverbs 16:9).

I follow my own way so much. But the Lord wants to tell me YES. He just wants to do it in His own time and in His own way. Just as He has been faithful in all His covenants and promises in the Bible until now, I know that He will be faithful to answer my no’s with yesses in far better ways than I could. They never look like what I thought or planned. They are always, always better.

Trust Him with your no’s. Embrace closed doors. They are blessings in disguise! He is so FAITHFUL!

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No Angry Rejection

Rejection—we’ve all experienced it. Some days, it seems to roll off our backs; and on others, we feel as if a knife just pierced our vital organs.

Maybe you’ve been shunned by a friend, coworker, or employer. Perhaps you’ve experienced an even deeper-cutting rejection by a spouse or a loved one.

As a freelance writer, I experience rejection of my ideas and projects on a regular basis. At times, it’s hard not to take the “no’s” personally. When I was trying to break into the book market (something that took five years of learning, growing, praying, and waiting—after several years of writing articles and stories for freelance markets), the multiple rejections got to me after awhile.

Even though I believed I was called to write, and felt obedient to God by pursuing that call, major discouragement set in for me when three of my favorite publishers turned down a nonfiction book proposal in one week. Ouch!

My husband, friends, and family encouraged me to keep going. And I wanted to—but my “fight” was running out. The rewards of risk just didn’t seem worth it anymore.

Then God gave me a gift—a passage from Eugene Peterson’s The Message (1 Thessalonians 5:9–24), at the precise moment I needed it. I hope it will minister to you as it did to me:

“God didn’t set us up for an angry rejection but for salvation by our Master, Jesus Christ…So speak encouraging words to one another. Build up hope so you’ll all be together in this…Be cheerful no matter what; pray all the time; thank God no matter what happens…The One who called you is completely dependable. If He said it, he’ll do it!”

Isn’t that awesome? Those verses remind me, first, that God is up to great things behind the scenes. He will never fail. That truth allows me to trust in His timing and to thank Him–yes, even for rejections. After all, as James Lee Burke once said, “Every rejection is incremental payment on your dues that in some way will be translated back into your work.”

Second, trusting in God’s timing and faithfulness builds up my hope, so that I can get back into the ring of life and keep fighting—for relationships, for a vibrant life, and for the ministry God has chosen for me.

Third, online and offline groups–like this blog–allow those of us who share a passion for writing to speak encouraging words to one another, so that we can press into our calling. In unity, without jealousy or envy, we can cheer each other on. Complete trust in the One who made us causes us to know that all Christian authors have a role to play, and that every single bit of success is good for the Kingdom.

Fourth, God’s complete acceptance makes me willing to keep living life fully, even when it’s risky. Though friends, family members, or publishers may reject me, Jesus never will.

I can rest in that.

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Sergio: A Memoir from My Writing Life

My writing life continues to take me to places that I never dreamed possible. A few years ago, I decided to go back to college to pursue a degree in writing. And my academic journey gave me the opportunity to study a second language in another country.

In Spain, I learned more than just the language—I learned about their culture, their history, and the every day life of the people there. I also learned things about myself and human nature. Plus, this experience provided numerous stories to share, like this one about my young friend, Sergio.

One of my best language teachers proved to be a five-year-old boy named Sergio, the grandson of my hostess, Beni.

Sergio would sit with me every day at the kitchen table, after the others had finished their meals and retreated to watch television. He enjoyed pretending to be my teacher.

Child Teacher. As Sergio picked up each piece of fruit, one-by-one, from the ceramic bowl on the kitchen table, he would hold it up and wait for me to say the name of the fruit in Spanish. If I didn’t respond fast enough, he would look at me with his big brown eyes and teach me the appropriate word.

“Me-lo-co-tón,” Sergio said slowly, as he held up a peach and waited for me to repeat after him. And after I responded, he would flash his bright smile, clap his hands, and applaud, “¡Qué bien!” [Great!]

Then, Sergio would grab another piece of fruit and continue to quiz me, until he thought I had mastered each Spanish word. When he grabbed a banana, I would always laugh as I responded, “Ba-na-na.” [Sergio didn’t know we used some of the same words in English.]

I bought Sergio candy and toys to express my gratitude to him. One day, I gave him the mini-flashlight that I carried in my purse from home. As he ran to show his mother, he danced around the apartment snapping the light off and on.

Sergio reminded me of my own grandson, Miles, who was just a few years older. And Sergio helped me fend off being homesick, as I interacted with him.

Adult Student. In studying Spanish as an adult, I experienced both humiliation and judgment. My host family often seemed very impatient that I had not mastered their language. And since I was somewhat shy, the looks they exchanged when I tried to speak in their tongue embarrassed me. They would sigh heavily and roll their eyes. Then they would speak slowly with raised voices as they repeated phrases toward me.

I felt ignorant when I couldn’t find the words to express what I wanted to say. But Sergio always responded to me with patience and kindness. He helped me because he wanted to be with me, and we both enjoyed our time together.

Life-long Learner. I suppose I was too stubborn to give up on my goal of becoming bilingual during my studies in Spain, even with the difficulties I faced. I now appreciate the Hispanic population in my own community and the struggles they encounter in a country where most people do not understand their native language.

I discovered some surprises about myself in my efforts to learn another language. My husband, Dan, became more aware of my weaknesses than anyone. I’m sure he’ll never forget the night he walked into our family room at midnight and found me on our carpeted floor in a fetal position—crying because I had received a “B” in a conversational Spanish class.

I laugh when I think of that moment now. But at the time, I didn’t see the humor in the situation. Learning a new language proved to be one of the most humbling and difficult experiences of my life. But it gave me insight into teaching others to write, and I later became a writing instructor. In fact, I discovered that learning to write is much like learning a second language–but that’s another subject for a future post.

And in spite of the hardships and disappointments I encountered during my language school experience in Spain, my most memorable and effective teachable moments came with my young friend, Sergio.

Where has your writing journey taken you?

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Finding a Publisher: 10 Steps to Success Part One

If you are a first time author and looking for a publisher, you need to know several facts about the book publishing business. It’s a big ocean to dive into, and remember: there are sharks. Like any kind of business, and book publishing is a business, there are people who want to make a quick buck out of naive and vulnerable authors, so avoid them at your peril.

Step 1 – Write the book. Publishers are not really interested in ideas. They want to see proof that a would-be author has the skill, the stamina and the discipline to finish the job. Publishers expect that a novel should be about 80,000 to 100,000 words long and, taking an average, that’s about 300 pages.

Step 2 – Before you send your MS to a publisher, have the courage to show your creation to someone who will give you an honest assessment of your writing. Don’t ask your spouse or best friend because they are not the best people to give you an honest report. Your local librarian might be a good place to start. It’s a harsh truth, but unfortunately the writing world is overcrowded with writers who have great expectations of themselves but have little talent.

Step 3 – Okay, you have written a book, and your honest critics say it is brilliant and should be published, well done! Now is the time to do some hard work trawling through the books, internet sites and writers groups who can aid you in your search and provide professional help and good advice.

In the UK there is a very useful publication called The Writer’s Handbook, and it is up-dated every year. The editor Barry Turner has done much of the leg work for you, and his handbook really is a useful and complete guide to agents, publishers, editors and copywriters.

I am sure there must be a similar publication in the USA, so go out and get your own copy. I know it seems daft, but you need to know your own book, what genre it is and even what sub-genre it falls into. Next get a highlighter pen and work your way through the handbook and mark out those publishers who publish novels similar to your own. Be meticulous in this exercise, for it will save you time in the long run. It’s a total waste of time sending your romance story to a publisher who only publishes science fiction. Read the small print carefully.

Step 4 – Having got your list of prospective publishers then check out the minutiae of the submission guidelines. Many publishers will not accept unsolicited MS. So do not waste your time, money and effort sending your MS along to one of these companies. When they say they don’t accept unsolicited MS, they mean it, and they probably have their own arcane reasons for this rule. 

Step 5 – There are many publishers who do accept ‘unsolicited’ MS especially from new authors, in the hope they are going to sign-up the ace in the pack and that might just be you.

Your publishers list may be getting shorter by now, but this is good because you are refining your search, and with every step you are closer to finding the right publisher for you.

What are some steps that you took to find the best publisher for you (if you have one)? What are steps that you need to take to find a good publisher for you and your book (if you don’t have one)?

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When Do I Give Up?

It was my very first writers conference. I waited impatiently for my critiqued manuscript from a well-known and well-respected literary agent. Sitting on a bench under a tree, I opened the large manila envelope and pulled out my crisp, white pages that now ran red with scarlet ink – each red slash a tiny cut to my heart.

It was the moment I gave up.

Deflated and discouraged, I forced myself to stuff my dead work into its paper coffin, and attend the “Turning Your Chapters into Articles” class. I decided I would dismantle my much-loved dream and try to use it still. Being overly dramatic is a literary trait, and I wondered if this was a tiny taste of how the loved one of an organ donor feels. My manuscript that I loved would be used for good, but not in the way I’d hoped.

After the class, I met with the editor who led it. She asked how I was doing. (Apparently, that afternoon, Alice Cooper and I shared the same makeup artist.) She went on to encourage me not to give up on my dream. “This is one agent’s opinion, Joanne,” she gently reminded me. Her words gave me a microscopic ray of hope. (Purchasing an article for her magazine helped my mood, too.)

The agent who sliced my work like Dexter did me a great favor. He showed me how to shape my work in a way that would be acceptable the next time. Months later, I received my first book contract.

Since becoming an official “writer,” I have quit at least six hundred times. As a matter of fact, I even titled one of my emails to my agent, Rachelle, with these very words this summer: “When do you give up?” She immediately called and talked me down from the ledge, and recently addressed this timeless writer-question very eloquently in her blog.

I thought I’d share a few ways to encourage the quitter in you:

•Take a laptop sabbatical. My computer recently died, and I thought I would too. Once my laptop was up and running again, so was I! Three weeks was just the break I needed. Giving my right-brain some creative rest helped me look forward to working on my next project.

•Shake a leg. Exercise and I are not the best of friends. But whenever I get outside and get my blood pumping, it seems to clear the cobwebs in my middle-aged head. I take my recorder along, just in case I get an idea I can’t ignore.

•Make time for someone. Get out of your self-centered word-filled world. Go out and see a movie. Call a writer-friend and vent a bit. Have a quiet night at home with your spouse. Cuddle up on the couch and read a book to your child/grandchild.

•Fake your own death. Just wanted to see if you were still reading. Please don’t do this. Definitely not a good career move.

New York Times Bestselling Author, Susy Flory, recently shared a blog post that encouraged her. Agent Steve Laube reminded his many readers and wannabe-clients to never give up.

“John Creasy the English novelist kept at it. He kept getting rejected so decided to use pen names to create a new identity. Fourteen of them! Collectively he received 753 rejection letters. But he didn’t give up. His 754th became the first of his 564 published books. What if he had quit at the 700th rejection?”

This Christmas season, take a winter break and enjoy real life moments. Try to live this life you write about. Love the ones you are blessed to have alongside you, and pray God holds these tender moments close to your heart. A true writer must experience what they wish to convey. Gather up some word-filled ammunition for the coming year.

Regardless of what you do or don’t decide to do, giving up is not an option. It’s never an option. Never.

When was the last time you quit? What encouraged you to write again?