Unpacking a Rebuke

????????????????????????????????????????We’ve all met at least one—the writer who simply cannot take any criticism of his work. Such folk gleefully hand you their writing for review. But when you offer a tiny suggestion about a passage they’ve written, small funnel clouds begin to form over their heads. They’ll have none of it. Their eyes pinch. They are certain you are thick, even dim-witted, and probably don’t floss or exercise. Such writers typically don’t last long in the world of words, because as Justice Brandeis once said,

“There is no great writing, only great rewriting.”

Then however, there are those of us at the other end of the spectrum. We are so certain that the opinions of others must be more credible than our own, that we buy into anything anyone says about our work. This can have us constantly scurrying off in the direction of the most recent advice.

So when evaluating a rebuke or criticism, where is the balance? What questions should we be asking?

Was the rebuke from the wrong person? In my critique group we have a few poets. But I don’t get poetry. There. I said it. Thus, any constructive comments from me must be taken with a grain of salt. In fact, I typically find myself saying the same thing over and over again:  I don’t get poetry, but I love your imagery. Not very helpful. Our poets would be perfectly sane to pause before taking my poetry advice.

But what if the rebuke came from someone a bit higher up? What if a book proposal to an agent was rejected?

Was it a good idea with a bad pitch? I had a great talk in my roster of workshops but no one ever selected it. Finally someone said, “Yes, we want this talk! But you’ve GOT to change the name.” When they explained why, a light bulb went on. My title had completely misled would-be attendees as to what would be presented. Most hadn’t even read the description because the title sent them packing. The same thing can happen in a query or cover letter. You may well have a great idea, and your writing might actually be ready. But if the agent or editor didn’t catch the fever in your pitch, or if it left them confused, they most likely never went on to your writing.

Agents and acquisition editors aren’t magical. They don’t have a clairvoyant wisdom that lets them know exactly what’s going to take off and what’s going to fizzle.  Even with decades of experience and loads of algorithmic analysis, it’s still a highly unpredictable business. Which means they sometimes get it right and they sometimes don’t. (Well, all except for Word Serve Agents. They really do always get it right. Whew. Dodged a bullet there.)

Say what you want about the Harry Potter series; I still cannot imagine anyone reading through some of J.K. Rowlings writing and saying, “Ehhhh. I just don’t see it. This won’t interest a soul.” And yet. . . twelve publishing houses said just that.

Learn to Unpack a Rebuke

Most of the time, we really could improve what we’ve written. Most of the time, our writing needs some work. But don’t chase after every single comment as though it is Gospel. Measure it. Weigh it. Give it reasonable consideration. Develop a mature view of your own work. Most of the time, there is value in the criticism. But in the end, if you think your reviewer got it wrong, stick with the plan a bit longer. Look for the gatekeeper who gets you.

The obvious conclusion of this line of reasoning is that even advice from this writer must be evaluated carefully and perhaps dismissed. I’ll admit, sometimes I get it right. And sometimes I get it wrong. For example, if I had been on the committee to evaluate and select new TV programming, we’d never have heard of World Wide Wrestling or Honey Boo Boo.

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About carolbarnier

Carol Barnier is the author of four books, mother to three children and wife to one husband. She is a popular radio guest across the country and a regular humor contributor to Focus on the Family’s Weekend Radio. She has written dozens of magazine articles and is a frequent coast-to-coast speaker. She strives for an Erma Bombeck/C.S.Lewis mix, but admits that she more often achieves a strong Lucy Ricardo/Bob the Tomato. While she can be quite serious, probably the best description of her is what you find on her business cards: Delightful Speaker, Entertaining Author, Adequate Wife, Pitiful Housekeeper She's the author of three books about dealing with (or possessing) a non-linear mind in a linear world. Her first book, How to Get Your Child Off the Refrigerator and On To Learning, gives the reader understanding into the mind of the highly distractible child. It answers the imponderable question, "Why does this child constantly fall out of his chair?" (hear the kathunk) It also provides idea after idea on how to teach a child who simply can't sit still. Carol's second book, If I'm Diapering a Watermelon, Then Where'd I Leave the Baby?, was born of the realization that her highly distractible son had not fallen very far from the tree. (hear the next kathunk) This book celebrates women who are non-linear thinkers, women who are the Mary's in this very Martha world. It also provides strategies on how to keep the distractible mind on track while taking advantage of the gifts that come with being gloriously unregimented. Her third book, The Big WHAT NOW Book of Learning Styles, takes all the mystery and complexity OUT of learning styles. This book keeps it simple, and puts its emphasis on the "What do we do now?" It takes each academic subject and then provides dozens of ideas on how to teach it from a variety of angles to a variety of learning styles. It makes teaching the atypical learner not only easy, but fun. No really, it does. Her fourth book was a deviation from her typical fare and share her personal faith journey, from pastor's daughter, to atheist, to Christian. The book, "Engaging Today's Prodigal" gives parents insight into the mind of a child who has rejected their faith. It also gives them understanding and strategies to better maintain a relationship with their adult child. It's a book of action, compassion, and hope.

4 thoughts on “Unpacking a Rebuke

  1. Carol—-what a great topic to address!! Feedback from my first book manuscript (oh so many years ago) was SO confusing. Editors said opposite things. Finally I had to do what Carol suggests: listen and consider all of it; decide who had the most credibility, and then measure my work with those comments in mind. The good news is we really do begin to grow a mature editor in our own heads over the years, one that helps guide our own gauge of others’ critques. Thank you for speaking to this crucial subject!

  2. Great advice, Carol! It’s not easy to receive criticism, but if we weigh the comments and seek to better ourselves and think of it that way, it will become easier. Maybe… 😉
    Thanks for the great post and the great advice!

  3. There’s a difference between a critique and criticism. One brings life, and the other kills. When we’re called upon to give an opinion it’s well to remember that. When weighing advice from others, it helps to have a strong sense of your writing voice and a deep understanding of the story you wish to convey.

  4. I’m a reviewer and when I get a book to read I don’t read any other reviews before I read and write my own. That way the author is getting MY honest opinion and not those already written.
    Now I’m not an author of a book but and author of a christian webpage and I’ve left myself open to opinions as well. Bad ones I just take with a grain of salt and figure somethings are just not for everyone. The good ones make me smile and try to keep doing better.
    So my Opinion to all the authors, don’t worry as worry is a sin to God which means you have no faith that he will make all things right. There will be people who derive a great deal from your books and others who won’t.
    Remember,” save one soul and you’ve saved the world”. (don’t know who said that but it’s true. Your writing from your heart and at least you know God is pleased and He’s what matters.
    Ok, I’m, stepping off the soap box now..
    I’m proud of each and everyone of you writers because it takes a lot of courage and faith in God to put your heart out on your books. For me and those like me, never stop.
    God Bless you all,
    Kelly

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