I’ve been through a rough initiation to the reality of deadlines. In May, I learned that I needed to do a 60 to 70 percent rewrite of my second novel…in one month. My agent negotiated for an extra month, but that was all the wiggle room available. So I had eight weeks to write about 300 pages. In addition, I knew that the enormity of the second novel’s rewrite would affect the time I needed to write the third novel in my series. Altogether, I was looking at writing and editing about 600 to 700 pages in six to seven months, starting in June 2011 and ending January 1st, 2012.
For some authors, this wouldn’t be too stressful. Many professional novelists turn out three or even four books a year.
For me, it felt like a death sentence. Given the pace at which I usually write and the research requirements for my novels, I knew that the unexpected impact of these deadlines would change my life drastically.
I wanted to run away, screaming and frothing at the mouth. It took every ounce of my willpower to accept the situation and begin the long, arduous, fearsome task ahead of me.
So here I am, three days from my deadline for my third novel. I have one chapter left to write.
I have officially survived the deadlines. And I feel like a warrior returning exhausted but victorious from a battle with some horrifying mythical creature .
For what it’s worth, here’s what I’ve learned.
We have nothing to fear but fear itself.
I’ve never felt such pure dread from a writing project as I did during the rewrite of my second novel. In grad school, I finished my papers two weeks early without breaking a sweat, and liked it! Even though my doctoral dissertation took a lot of thought and hard work, I never feared it or thought I couldn’t do it.
You know the pinprick of reluctance and fear that we writers sometimes feel when we face a blank page? Magnify that by one hundred, until it’s like a lance through the guts, and that’s how I felt for seven of the eight weeks of that novel rewrite.
At the same time, I knew that this crippling fear was my true enemy. If I could just live through it one hour at a time without hyperventilating, I could probably make it through the whole ordeal.
Deadlines are like Medusa: the mere sight of them can turn you to stone.
So don’t look directly at them, if you want to survive. Polish up your shield of faith and look only in its bright surface—let the deadline become a dim, hissing shadow while you hack off its head.
Does this metaphor seem too violent for the artistic, expressive act of novel writing? For me, that’s how it felt–like a raw struggle, nothing pretty or poetic to it, just sheer determination not to give in to the fear.
Tell me—have you ever faced this kind of overwhelming fear as a writer? What did you do to get through it?
WordServe Water Cooler 
Rosslyn, this is a very timely post for me! I think I’m up for a very significant rewrite of book 2 as well. When the revision letter comes, I’m sure I’ll be revisiting this post and taking up my shield!
Huge congrats to you for meeting your deadlines!!
Katie, I’m looking forward to keeping in touch about your process–now that I’m returning to the land of the living and I get to talk to my friends again! 🙂
Oh yeah, this is Rosslyn. 🙂
Rosslyn,
There can be –and for me, there often is — fear to be faced and conquered in the writing life. And sometimes you just have to call it what it is: fear. Don’t try to pretty it up by draping leftover tinsel on it. Drastic rewrites and looming deadlines are s-c-a-r-y. Period. And they are also unavoidable. There’s nobody else who’s going to step in and say, “Let me do that for you.” And there’s no pause button for the rest of your life — believe me, I’ve looked. Oh, sure, you can ignore the house. You can eat takeout. But you know what will be waiting for you post-deadline: a lot of cleaning and extra pounds.
So what do I do? I apologize to the real people in my life that the imaginary ones are now the priority. And I try to maintain some balance. Exercise a little. Come up for air sometime.
But most of all I admit I am afraid and then I fight — and write — through the fear.
Oh, Beth, I am smiling about the cleaning and extra pounds. Yuck! I hate having everything go to pot under deadline.
Love your transparency in this post, Rosslyn.
When I submitted my second novel to my editor, she sent me a page of changes, including cutting out a secondary character. This secondary character was tied to the main plot and the third act of the book. Cutting out the character meant shifting the plot and rewriting a third of the book. Throw in a major writing conference and my debut book launching…oh and I work full-time out of my home as a childcare provider–paperwork, paperwork, paperwork. I understand that stone-frozen fear. But I did it. Thanks to prayer partners and an amazing critique partner who helped me brainstorm the ending. My editor loved my changes and felt the story was much stronger without the secondary character. Now I know I can do it. Next time I will plan my time better though.
Lisa, I agree–I need to plan better in the future! Had I not been so nervous about the release of my first novel, I would have made more progress on the third book before I received the editorial letter for the second. It was a perfect storm of naive novelist misjudgments that led to the situation, and now I know–but it was a hard-learned lesson.
Rosslyn, I go through a roller-coaster of emotions every time I start another novel, from “This is great,” to “This stinks,” to “I’ll never finish this on time,” to “I can’t wait to write the ending.” Thanks for sharing your own feelings about the journey we’ve chosen for ourselves. Proud to call you colleague.
Richard, you are an unfailing source of sagacity and encouragement. I’m grateful to call *you* colleague, and glad we’re going to share a publisher!
Your metaphor and description was so lovely in this post. I suppose what makes you feel so passionately about deadlines is the same something that allows you to express yourself so well. It’s all part of the writing package. To continue your metaphor further, we signed up to fight the monster, so we should expect to get freaked out occasionally. Thanks!
Good point about signing up for the fight! Before I went through it, I thought it was going to be more like a straightforward dragon-slaying: grab the sword, chippety chop, home in time for dinner. 🙂 I didn’t bargain for Medusa. (This is making me think of Monty Python skits.) Thanks for stopping by and for your kind comments, Katharine.
ahhh…so glad to know i’m not the only one who was met with tight deadlines that seemed impossible. why do they do that to us??? next time, i’ll remember i CAN slay medusa 😉 thanks for the encouragement and Keep Writing!!! j
Julie, did you have those tight deadlines on that fantabulous debut novel that just received the review of the century from PW? If so, I am even more impressed! (If that’s even possible.) 🙂
Rosslyn,
Great post and your achievement feels like we, as writers, have won another victory! What is it with second and third books? This happened to my second novel in a series. I had six weeks to change the occupation of the hero, which affected most of the book. I think it may be because when we propose a series, the sequels aren’t outlined in as much detail. I went on my merry way writing until the publisher noticed where I headed. It’s almost like the sequels are contracted in faith in our ability to get the job done. So, congrats! You did it. And now you know you can do it again, if necessary. And for me, the changes made the book so much better.
Yikes, changing the occupation is a big, big deal! I agree with you, though, the changes are always for the good, because I’m blessed with some of the best editors in the business. And I don’t underestimate that blessing. Not every writer gets it, and I feel for those who have to make changes they don’t love.
Rosslyn, I LOVE your line: “I have officially survived the deadlines. And I feel like a warrior returning exhausted but victorious from a battle with some horrifying mythical creature.” I am 7 days away from a major writing deadline and that is EXACTLY how I’ll feel. Thanks so much for this great post!
Go, Donna! I am so happy that you are that close to your deadline. Isn’t it the most amazing feeling to know that you will be free in only a week? Yahoo!
I liked your post. I understand the feeling although I haven’t been given a deadline. I appreciate your encouragement. You guys are always so much help. I really appreciate your sharing.
Glenda Parker
Glenda, thank you for taking the time to read and comment. I value the community we have here with other writers. The comments are half the fun.
Excellent post that causes me to rein in the fear I have about re-writing and JUST DO IT! I am attempting to write a novel and my critique group has been very helpful but at the same time tough on my dialogue (or lack of it) with the main character. It is a learning experience and thank goodness I have no looming deadline like you did. Glad you made yours and hope you can now relax and enjoy daily life.
I’m so glad it is helpful to you, Kathy. I love those helpful but tough critique groups. As long as we can trust that our crit partners have our best interest at heart, they can make a world of difference. And yes, I am so looking forward to ordinary life!
I sometimes pray asking God to bind that shield of faith to my hand so I can’t let go . . .
Rosslyn,
Deadlines and Medusa, how perfect. We are on similar journeys, as you know, and experiencing similar fears. Book two about killed me. I hope it is the new author syndrome and learning how to do what needs to be done in time. I’m working on book 3 now as I await the galleys on book 2. Again, I’m running in to difficulties with the holidays and getting things done but I’m hoping that through prayer and sticking to a writing schedule as much as possible, that I’ll meet my April 1st deadline.
Congratulations on slaying Medusa, maybe if I set up a mirror next to my computer she’ll just look at herself and be done with it, leaving me alone. 🙂
Ha ha! Good idea about the mirror. Although can you imagine the horror of looking into that mirror and seeing Medusa standing behind you? (There have been plenty of moments during the last six months when I might have mistaken my own image for Medusa’s, with my red eyes and wild tangled hair. 🙂
When I think of the phrase “overwhelming fear” it generally relates to public speaking, a path that I am moving down in order to advance my career as a writer.
Peter, that’s interesting because I don’t have too much fear of public speaking. I get a little nervous if I’m speaking on spiritual topics, because they’re so personal, but mostly I’m pretty comfortable on a platform. It’s probably all the teaching in my background. I do sometimes get nervous when singing in public. I have to get really tough with myself to focus only on the task at hand. And for speaking, especially interviews, I have to accept a certain amount of planning instead of complete spontaneity. This is a hard choice for me because I don’t like facades and concern with image–I’d rather just be unfiltered, natural me–but the fact is that most interviews and speeches must be concise and punchy, and that doesn’t happen for most of us without some pre-meditation.